"He makes me feel sexually inadequate"
Woody Allen

"If I had a penny for each time he makes me laugh..."
The Duke of Wetminster

"His lounge wear is as good as my softwear"
Bill Gades

"Much more enjoyable than torturing political prisoners, and equally as entertaining as tea with Mrs Thatcher..."
General Augustino Pinoche

"Very enjoyable show, but I prefer cash for prizes"
Neel Hamilton

"Not enough cheesey straws or snacks"
Quentin Crisp

"He calls too quickly..."
Steven Hawkings